1) Tell us a little about yourself. And what you are doing right now?
I am a retired art history lecturer. There’s not much to tell. I used to love art, and no longer do. I used to be married and no longer am. I used to have a daughter.
I am sitting at my kitchen table, about to go for a walk through the woods at the back of my house.
2) How are you coping with the loss of your daughter? Do you have a certain way of coping you’d like to share.
I don’t think that is any of your business. But since you asked, I keep busy. It is depressing how little can make me feel these days as though I am busy.
3) I hear you write about the dead and forgotten? Could you tell us why and how this helps you?
I am not sure it helps, but how can we just ignore people? They had families, they had people who loved them. And we look at the news as if it is there to entertain us, and don’t even care to know their names.
4) If you could swap places with a fellow person you are with or have met, who would it be? And why?
I would go back fourteen years and swap with a version of myself. I would insist that I take the job offered to me by the University in Vancouver, I would insist that my family follow me, that my husband Michael would soon be established in Canada. I would insist that my teenage daughter did not need her friends or her school life here. I would take us all away so that she would never meet Ryan. I would make them follow me. I would not push my ambitions aside, I would not care that it wasn’t what they wanted. I would be selfish and it would save my daughter’s life.
5) What do you believe your main propose is in life? And how far will you go to achieve it?
I used to think my purpose was to bring a sense of wonder to my students, to give them the courage to let lose in the world, to care about art, to care about their own careers. I used to think my purpose was to love my family, to care for my husband and daughter.
None of those things are true anymore. I don’t think I have a purpose.
6) Do you think you’ll find love again after your split from your husband or has your marriage put you off men forever? If you did find love again what kind of man would you hope to fall in love with?
It hasn’t put me off men. It has put me off love. But who knows what life has in store for us? I don’t like being as lonely as I am. But then, there is very little I am prepared to do to change that, so I become accustomed to it.
7) Have you done anything unforgivable to someone else? Was it out of love or revenge? Tell us about it.
Not yet. But much as I try to banish thoughts of that disgusting man, thoughts of revenge play through my mind every day. Believe me, I would make him understand what he owes.
8) What has been your favourite memory?
Memories are difficult because they reveal a happier time. The more favourite, the more difficult. So I will skip back further, perhaps not to a time that was my favourite but this memory has the advantage of being bearable. I was nine years old. My mother, busy with some chore or other, took me to the town library, gave me her card, and left me there for the whole afternoon. I sat on the floor with the art books, so big and heavy that they wouldn’t fit into my lap. I spent the whole afternoon lost in the pictures.
9) Do you believe or have you seen other world out there? If so what are they like or do you imagine them to be like.
There are other worlds in paintings, and I have believed in all of them. But they are so varied, so exquisitely personal that it is impossible for me to describe. Go to a gallery and see them for yourself.
10) What was your favourite thing about being an art history lecture?
I loved to dissect. I loved the operation of it, taking a painting or sculpture and exposing it to forensic examination. A process that equally demanded the dissection of our own view, our own expectations. Much of art is in the context. I miss that, the challenge, the arguments even. I miss caring about something enough to argue with my students or colleagues, I miss caring about anything as much as I used to care about that.